therapy

When The Smoke Cleared

smoke

When the smoked cleared I stopped for a moment to realize what tragedy I had just witnessed. I stood there, sounds of the regulator, clicking in and out. It was just me and my thoughts. Had I done enough to prevent a loss for this family I had known. I battled the fire with such force and I gave it all my strength to the end. The smoke is all that remains, a tear forms in my eyes. How could I save the little girl in the room upstairs. I couldn’t go up the stairs because of fire from the top to the bottom. It would be the sure death of me if I made that decision. I had to make a split second decision of life and death, mine over hers.

We as responders are faced with decisions at times that no one ever wants to make. We are faced with the aftermath of those decisions. It at times feels like a general sending his soldiers into war knowing the outlook that many men will be sacrificed. Being an officer in a fire department can and will affect peoples lives. Your own men going to battle for the decisions you make.

I hope that I am never faced with the fact I sent men into battle with loss of my own men. I’m not sure I could live with this fact, instilled in my mind forever. This happen’s everyday with first responders. No one ever want’s to hear that someone has died trying to save someone. It is fact, that we are the last resort in many situations. We train for such emergencies, but in the end the tragedies we witness sometimes are forever etched. PTSD syndrome is very real and many people whether it be war, or being a first responder is affected in some way. How can we not be? We try to go home and console with our spouses but they do not understand what trauma we have been witness too. There is help out there. Your local departments should provide help, all you need to do is ask. We provide post CISD or Critical Insident Stress Debriefing, after a tragic event. It is this where we can all talk about what happened to start the process of healing the mind.  http://www.usfa.fema.gov/pdf/efop/efo27917.PDF

The smoke is clear now and my heart is pounding. I have just talked with a professional about things I have been witness to. I know I have a reason to be a responder. Glad to know someone is out there to listen to us.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

 

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What am I doing?

moonWhat am I doing? Wind blowing in my face and the smell of tree’s. Vibrations on my feet and a roar from the rear of the machine. Blinkers never shutting off after putting them on. Balance, keep your balance, watch out for other drivers. Bugs hitting the body and face, keep your mouth closed! Protect the head, falls are mean. Five dollars to fill the machine, wow that is great.  I can go around corners with a heavy lean of the machine. Some call it therapy. Keep it on the pavement, watch out for young ones, never assume. Watch out for the critters and kids playing in the street.

Hope you know what this is. I need a day off to do some of this. Summer is getting shorter everyday now. Enjoy the day.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Give Me Some Of That Two Wheel Therapy

2014-04-04 09.45.49Therapy comes in all different types. I always wondered what two- wheeled therapy was. I have found this out all on my own. I didn’t need any therapist or doctors to diagnose my problems. Finally this year, I’ve decided to get me one of those two- wheeled bicycle’s. This one has an added bonus because it came with an engine. Smart people out there that put these engine things on these bikes. It was a cleaver idea because now you don’t even have to pedal.

Deciding upon which direction of travel I wanted to take, and what treatment was needed, I decided to head south on the bicycle. I started up the engine thing, varoom! Wow what a thrill to hear the engine thing start up. It gives me goose bumps and get the nervous system a super charge. My heart is starting to pound a little faster because of all the excitement. I sit myself down upon this seat and can feel vibrations all over my body. This is massaging my legs and my back muscles and I’m starting to feel real good and relaxed.

Turning at the end of the driveway I give it some throttle and the engine really blats out. I’m smiling now and I haven’t even left the driveway yet. Varoom!  I’m off to another place. I can feel the wind blowing in my face and the scenery is amazing through these new sunglasses I bought. I can see pretty good now and my mind is starting to relax. Moving on down the highway, something I noticed, people are out raking their lawns and with the noise from my engine people are lined up in their neighborhoods before I arrive. It felt like I was in a parade. These people are smiling at me and I’m smiling back at them. One guy in his driveway put his rake down and gave me a thumbs up and waved. What the heck is going on around here? I’m getting an overload of therapy today. I keep driving south on Route-4, toward  a place of nowhere. There really is no destination in mind, I’m just out getting my treatment.

You know, I’m starting to think real hard about this two-wheel therapy and I’m really starting to understand that I should have bought me one of these motor bikes a long time ago. I have returned back to the house and back from my hour long appointment with the two wheels and an engine. What a treatment it has been……… I’m going to make sure to schedule another appointment again real soon.  Good day everyone- Go out and find some treatment like I have, You will not be disappointed. Thanks Doctor?