She smiled at me, twinkling eyes fluttered

Eager to meet , smothered in thought

Our eyes connect, Pheromones besiege

Glitters of acceptance, I moved forward

Pushing away, She responds

Tearing, screaming, Fright

Losing, , suffering, escaped

Again, I am one.

                                                                                                                                            D.H.Bilodeau 3-16-2016




Encounter With Santa

Santa Twin   I was in preparation for our visit with Santa Claus. I was out building a landing strip on the front lawn when all of a sudden the earth shook beneath my feet, almost knocking me to the ground. I had never felt the ground shake like that, again a second tremor and a large crack opened up with me tumbling down, like forever and forever. I had hopes and dreams, family to look after, a spouse who loved me. What was going to happen to them without my presence. Time moved forward, spinning, churning myself like being in a washing machine. I wondered if this was ever going to end. Something took my breath away for a moment, then the dust settled. There was a man in a red suit, portly of a fella, standing before me. There was, surrounding him, many elves in green suits, scurrying about their business like workers in a factory. The first words out of his mouth, YOU BETTER BE GOOD. I was in deep thought, looking for an outlet of some sort to escape this area, I wasn’t sure this was real or not. HO! HO! HO HO!,This man, so called “Santa”, belting out words of rythym, singing about like a jolly ole fella. Again he stood before me, a tear came from my eye, I cried and asked Santa, Is my family alright? Well yes son, your family is alright and loved, You have given them everything the world could ever ask for. You gave them LOVE, HO! HO! HO!. Enjoy The Holiday’s


East African Airline Decent

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The pilot Andrew was fumbling with something in his right pocket. I looked over at him and wondered what his real story was . Here was a man in his mid forty’s who never had any family and just pilots around the world. He has no other ambition to do anything else. Flying has overcome him in everyway. I spoke up, Hey Andrew? He turns his head in my direction, You ever been with a woman? I asked. Here he goes again fumbling in his pocket. It happened too quick, Andrew pulled out a bottle of something and sprayed it into my eyes. I started to gag, cough, and was feeling very dizzy. I did the only thing at the moment I could think of. I pushed the levers on the steering and put the plane into a nose dive.

Sounds of people talking, I’m inside some kind of hospital and everyone is speaking a different language than I’m used to hearing. It is not common to hear other languages in different hubs. I am being wheeled around on a gurney of some sort to a different location. I cannot speak, only open my eyes, listening to maybe an answer of my whereabouts. I coughed, oh no, attention to me has been noticed. A woman of East African decent is looking at me with those big brown eyes. Sir, You must lay still! She has demanded me. I will let you know what is going on in a minute, You must be understanding Sir. I give her a  nod in acknowledgement. I’m waiting now inside a small room with bright lights and have to urinate so bad. My arms and legs have shackles on them so it is impossible to move. The woman comes back inside the room and comes to my side. Sir, I’m sorry to report that the plane you were riding in has crashed into our country. Many people, some with babies inside have died because of your equipment failures and for this we have to hold you accountable for your actions. I want to explain what happened if I may. Sir, Your time will come when you meet the City Council, your fate will be worked out there.

I am now in a cell in an East African country. My cell mate is from England. His name is Edward and he was in Africa with his family on vacation. He is coughing real bad and vomiting all the time. Edward, why are you so sick? Has it been something you ate. You have been sick for over two weeks now and should have been better by now. Edward responds, I think I have Ebola. What the heck is that Edward? It is a deadly virus and now you have been in contact. It would be better if you took your life now, there is now cure for this virus. I could tell I didn’t want this virus and I was going to stay real far away from Edward. Time went on and Edward passed only a few days after our conversation. I still have not come down with the disease.

I’m now getting out of my comfy chair in the living room, I look out and both of our children and their loved ones are sitting around the living room. I can smell the remnants of the annual turkey. I must have fallen asleep. Happy Thanksgiving day folks, I’m going to enjoy just being around family.

Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Highway 95-Gobble Gobble


I was traveling from Virginia to Central Maine to spend some time with my folks during Thanksgiving. It was raining real hard so driving was becoming very difficult. I was not getting any help on the driving front because my spouse was sleeping. The sky was becoming very dark and I was getting a feeling that things were going to turn sour real fast.

It was the smell of the Turkey, time spent with my siblings that I was thinking about. I really do believe this is the best holiday of any of them. Family getting together and having a great dinner. The folks will be so happy to have their children and grand child for Thanksgiving. The smiles on their faces, the drinks, and football. I heard a screech and the car in front of me is going sideways, fishtailing, roads are getting slippery now.

The road were getting horrendous and I was slowing the vehicle down to keep safe. We were moving into Southern, Maine over the Portsmouth Bridge when the snow was coming down so hard on Highway 95. The traffic was still moving at a clip when off to the side I noticed a speed limit sign. Wow, when did they move the speed limit up to 75 mph? I asked my wife. Can you believe that, people are going to kill themselves going that fast. I nodded and agreed with her. Still moving North and traveling very fast the car in front of me started slipping and crossed the centerline. The vehicle crashed into a semi, blowing the car into pieces, debris flying through the air.

The debris kept flying and smashed my windshield and something hit me hard. The lights went out. I woke up with dust flying through the air. It was the dust from the airbag. I instantly thought of my wife, how she was doing. I look over and only see her starring into nowhere. Her eyes not blinking. The debris had gone through the window striking her in the chest area. I had lost my love, the only one who understood me, my hugger. What was I going to tell my family, it was going to tear me apart.

The ambulance and fire personal came to our assistance. They dragged her out of the car, looking with a sad face, I knew there was nothing they could do. I was brought to a police car to be questioned and checked to see If I had been drinking. No officer, I told you I haven’t had a drink. The officer responds with me having to walk the line to check for sobriety. I think you need to settle down Mr. or I’m going to take you to jail. I guess I didn’t settle down and I was looking between bars in a jail. Where had everything gone wrong? I was alone, no family and in Jail.

I can tell you people and insist that you do not drink and drive this holiday and make other arrangements if the snow make traveling to bad. No person in this world would want to see anything happen to you, Turkey or not. Enjoy the holiday folks, be smart, don’t drink and drive.

Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Dog Is Your Friend

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Just my pal and I. Come here boy I want to give you a pat for doing such a great job on watching over us. He is looking at me with those big brown eyes, tail is wagging. You know there is nothing like a loyal pet to be by your side. Wow, I cannot believe I’m saying this, my spouse would be in tears with me saying this. We had another dog for 16 years and I really was not excited about having a dog, he passed a few years ago. I was very content not having another pet. My wife said as long as we are in this world we are going to have a dog, a cat I can live without, her words, she meant it. I finally gave in with two ladies, my wife and daughter giving me the sugar, Oh, honey please, please, and PLEASE! I finally caved in. We went to house that was advertising German Shepards. What was she thinking, this is a big dog, the other one we had was a smaller dog. We pulled into the driveway and there was a bunch of little german’s running around. I have to admit they were very cute. There was one that had mostly black and that was the one my wife decided on. It was a male dog, very regal looking even at a young age.2011-11-23 03.03.27

Ok, stop peeing and pooping on the carpet, please. I’m not liking having a dog at this point. I lost two pairs of sneakers and three pairs of LLbean slippers. I lost gloves and even my work prescription glasses. I’m not liking have a dog. The local experts, other people, told me this will pass and your dog will be much calmer and wont destroy stuff. I had to believe them, right?2011-12-26 04.16.42

Time went on and he did calm down and stopped destroying my stuff and everyone else’s stuff. He started listening to commands and I finally started seeing what people meant German Shepard’s are smart dogs. I also could tell how loyal he was to us. The protector of the house and always makes sure he is between us and the outside of anything. On guard all the time and he really gives a sense of security. He can sometimes do his job too much, scares the hell out of me sometimes. He has never attacked anyone but lets people know when they are too close to us. Doing his job right?  We still make sure that we don’t let people just start patting him without having a good hold on him. Still great having  this dog and I know that when he gets old and passes we sure will miss him. You hearing me big dog? Daddy likes you, make sure you keep a good eye on Mama. Listen to me, talking like he is our child. When your kids are grown you can talk like this, I read that somewhere. Have a great day folks and love your pets, they will take care of you.

Kogen Fall


Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Second Daughter


Whitney, our second daughter from another family. We have watched you grow up from a young girl. You have been a friend of Chelsea and the two of you really were two peas in a pod. Time does move on and you became a student then a graduate. Wow, where did the time go? Martha and I are so happy for you and Curtis for a child of your own. You will watch this child grow and have friends just like you did. Whitney, you will be a great mother and Curtis will be a great father to your child. Always keep record of events in your child’s life. The memories which you will witness will be remarkable. Do not forget the past and look forward to the future. Family is the greatest gift that we have been given. Let your daughter grow and I am sure she will be a wonderful reflection of her parents. Be good and do not forget your second parents. Love you Whitney,  Martha and Dwayne Bilodeau.


Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Backyard Soldiers



I was awaiting the arrival of my new six-horsepower weed-whacker from Bomen’s Store when I heard the coffee pot percolation complete. Oh, the smell of a fresh brewed coffee. I was pouring the coffee when I heard a vehicle come up the driveway. Oh, great my weed-whacker is here. I finished pouring my coffee when out the back window I saw a man dressed in camouflage and carrying a M16 rifle. I jumped back when I saw him point the gun toward the house and then started shooting. The glass in my kitchen window shattered into a million pieces and shards cut through my left arm, slicing layers of skin. I rolled around and was able to crawl to the other side of the house. Army men were surrounding the house and my dog Kogen was barking like crazy, unaware of the impending array of ammo coming toward us. I knew my wife was upstairs getting herself ready for work, I hollered up to her. Martha, are you alright? No answer, I hollered again with the same results. I needed to get upstairs to check on her but also this is where I kept the gun closet and my special MK-115 Carbine/Grenade Launcher. The bullets were making a mess of the house and the noise was beyond the 85 decibels that the ear can handle. I was trying to plug my ears but stay protected somewhat too. I was at the bottom of the stairs and I hollered up again to Martha, Honey, Are you ok ? Answer Me, Martha!  She crawled to the top landing, injured from the bullets flying through the house. Blood was coming out of her mouth, probably a chest wound.  She was holding something metallic, It was my MK-115 Carbine, she pushed it down over the top edge of the stairs. The gun sliding all the way down and into my hands. I was feeling very secure right now and checked to see if there was ammo inside the weapon. There was a full gun clip and also two grenades. I looked back up the stairs to thank Martha, I could tell she was no longer with us. Oh, no my dear Martha. The bullets are still flying through the house when I got close to a window and launched a grenade out the back window. I crawled out to the front of the house and launched my second grenade. The smoke cleared and I listened for sounds, there was none. I opened the front door and standing in front of it was a soldier, he was pointing his gun at me and mine was pointing at him. We both shot and I felt something penetrate my left arm. I fell to the ground within a seconds. The soldier fell to the ground also, I looked into his eyes, he was dead. I stood outside for quite some time in shock from all that had happened. I stood motionless, needing to find an answer to why these men were at my house. I had to check on Martha, I walked to the top of the stairs and there she was. She opened her eyes and smiled at me. You cannot get rid of me that quick, she replied. I thought you were dead, no honey I will be ok, but get me out of this broken down house. We stumbled around trying to get out of the house, the two of us, arm and arm, alive.

Bilodeau,D.H. 2014


I Hear You Now Dad

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I worried that something was wrong. I told myself that I better go check on my father because he had told me the day earlier that he wasn’t feeling well. I called my twin brother and told him that after my dentist appointment that I would go to see if he was alright.

Our Dad is a strong man, nothing ever seemed to bother him. He was a man of steel and would never show that there was something wrong. I had to think about this because he told me last week he wasn’t feeling well. That’s not like him. We get so caught up in our lives that we have to stop for a minute and think about our loved ones. I knew that I had to get over there as soon as possible to check on him.

I made the short drive over to his house, so worried about him. He was calling out and I missed it. I knocked on the door and there he was sitting where he alway’s sits. I said, Hey Dad, how is it going? Trying to make small talk. He replied and looked at me. NOT GOOD was his response. I about melted right there, not good. I started the  third degree of questions, my medic mode also kicked in. So what has been going on? I fainted this morning in bed, I believe I did  because when I started coming to, everything was white, I was very dizzy. I have been having tingling in my arms and general weakness.

Sometimes a son has to talk to the folks to make them understand they need to see a doctor. I felt at this point that this was very critical and he should go to the hospital. I was having worries of a possible heart problem or pending stroke. The test were performed and everything in his heart and brain scan was good. It was determined that he had been taking several meds and was having a reaction. The doctors took away three meds that he needed for another issue. He no longer has the dizzy spells but still some tingling in his hands and still somewhat weak.

Oh to have aging parents. I’m not sure if I worry more about them or my own children. The point made here is to make sure you check on your elder folks and when they tell you someone is not right to make sure you react. Stop, Look, and Listen is what they always told me. Now it is time to stop-look-and listen to what they are saying.

Have a great day folks.


Last Moment With You

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I was driving down an old country road in Aroostook County, Maine. It was a long days work and the travel home was going to take me two hours. It was starting to sprinkle out so the visibility was starting to get worse. I was kind of day dreaming when I looked off to the side of the road and saw rear lights from a car. The car was burrowed into the woods and upside down. My heart started racing, it was going to get much worse.

I stepped out of my vehicle and ran toward the car. It was very dark outside and I remembered I had a flashlight stashed into the side of the door. I turned around real quick to retrieve it when I heard a loud scream. It sounded like a young girl crying. I grabbed the flashlight and went over to the car. Inside was a young women with blood all over her face and by looking at the position she was in that she was jammed inside and just under the dashboard.

I told the young lady, or Corinth later I found out, that she was going to be ok and help was on the way. I looked down toward her legs and noticed that she had broken both legs. I could tell they were broken by the disfigurement in her legs. She was screaming for me to help her. I was almost losing it myself but knew I had to help her. I told her I had to run to my car so I could call for more help. I squeezed her hand, she responded back with a tight grip.

Talking with the dispatcher was killing me because I wanted to get right back to Corinth. I still could hear her screaming from a distance. I told the dispatcher I had to get right back to her after I told her of what injuries she had. I made my way back to the wreaked car, tripping on a piece of debris before I got there and slightly spraining my ankle.

Corinth told me she was eighteen years old and a cheerleader and in her senior year of high school. She looked at me in the eye and said, Sir? Am I going to die? My heart about melted at that point. I had no way of knowing the outcome but she had some serious injuries with loss of blood. I told her she was going to be alright. I started to hear the sirens in the distance, help was soon to be here.

The firefighters had to use the jaws of life to extricate her from the vehicle. I could see the color going out of her face, a very parlor look. They had her out of the car and onto a stretcher. I went up to Corinth and squeezed her hand one more time. She responded with a tight squeeze.

I will never forget this moment. I found out later Corinth died in the hospital from multiple trauma. I’m glad someone was there in her last moments, glad it could be me.

From this experience I quit my job and started taking classes to become a paramedic. I know I can help someone else again, Cant I?

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014  Fictional Story, but could be true to so many responders like myself. Lieutenant D. Bilodeau, Livermore Fire Dept

Nothing Better Than Family

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The older I get I realize that nothing is more important than family. You can have cars, a house, motorcycles, boats, or whatever but really family is the most important aspect to life period. I have wondered through this journey with my wife and have two children. I am however very happy for the fact our kids were able to grow up having grandparents. I only had one grand parent alive growing up. He spent the last remaining years in a nursing home so that is all I remember of him. Our children and our granddaughter has been very lucky to have their parents, grandparents and great-grandfather and mothers alive.

Life now at this stage. Our children are all grown up and moving in their path of life. I hope that my wife and I have instilled into them the value of family and that in dire needs they will be there for us. We are so happy that our children are living within the State of Maine with us so visits happen on a regular basis. Oh, how have they grown. Both are college graduates and both have partners of their own. Taking care of business in their own path of life has come with struggles. Haven’t we all struggled in our path of life. That is what makes life a book, something to write about. I remember that when our daughter called me into a her room in second grade. Dad? I have a boyfriend and just want you to know that I will always be with someone. Wow, to think that way at such a young age. Well, she wasn’t kidding, she has been with someone all her life. That one their is such a loving person, who wouldn’t want to be with her. Our son decided to be a rough and tough boy and decided to slam a door one day. I told him with a strong view, that he better go out that door right now and get a job because he was paying for that door. He started working that day and has not skipped a beat to this day. A very hard worker who knows how to take care of himself.  The children have been everything to us. Their life does come with struggles today. What child doesn’t have these problems with their life today?

Oh, life’s picture can really paint a pretty picture though. We all have worries about our children, parents, brothers, sisters, and spouse’s. If we really dig into that little brain of ours, we realize that we have had everything we wanted all along. Who cares about anything else when we have life in general? We can complain about everything but in the end who really cares? So hug yourself first, then your children and family because that is all we have. It is worth a million dollars. Have a great day everyone, I’m going to celebrate my mother-in-laws birthday today. She is 80 years old and has been there for everyone. Family! That’s what I’m talking about.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Life’s Edge With Her

life edge

I held her hand to life’s edge. She was hanging on for every bit of strength she had. It had been a long night with the two of us crying and worrying about the next chapter. I was worried that I couldn’t live without her. She was crying that she wouldn’t make it another breath and be able to spend another day with me. The light was getting dimmer and the memories were getting distorted by the constant weeping within. Her breathing was becoming labored, knives penetrating through my heart. Was God going to be there for her in the last moments or would I have to guide her through the journey and hand over my love.

I had not been versed into the path of delivering my spouse. It cannot be me, I, who am a laborer, not trained in the delivery of one’s life. Please God, do not let me fail. I am your son but have not the strength myself to be a conductor of life. I will not fail my spouse. I weep again, she tugs my hand, oh no is this the time? A song is playing  my ears, Is there a god out there? Please don’t let me go, I am your brother, brother, brother………

When will this pain stop, we cannot hold on anymore, either of us will destruct, with our minds being put through this test of time. I keep thinking that my spouse is going to a better place, I feel a tear coming down my face, I wipe it with  the back of my hand, all I see is red.

I hear a gasp , I look down at my beautiful spouse and she has disappeared from life as we know it. It is quiet and I am scared, where do I go from here, I’m alone. I look out the window, the sun is bright, a new path has been chosen for me. I turn around and stop, looking at her bedside I see God with her in his arms. He looks at me and with a slow wave of his arm, he waves at me and nods. It is time for me to leave, I walk out the door to a new beginning.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

My Madaline

madalineI can smell her perfume, it brings back all the memories now. I laid down next to her, to comfort her in her last moments. We had spent an eternity together, she moves me to no end. She is opening her eyes and the tears flow from my eyes. She holds my hand and gives me a light grip, letting me know she is still there. My body is shaking and I do not have words. My heart is melting with her, alone I’m feeling at this moment. We have this one last fragment of time to spend together I flash back to the time we were dancing at our wedding. I remember her laying in this same hospital giving birth to our children. Times at the lake, her laughing, and giggles from the time the chicken fell off the grill. I remember the love we had together and the warmth of her body next to mine every night in bed. Tears are running down my face, I look down and she is gone.

I have spent the last days of my life bringing her flowers. The tears are still flowing. If only I could have one last kiss. Why did you have to leave me?

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Bye My Love



The last kiss was when I was walking out the door this morning. She had made my lunch every morning for forty-two years. I worked in the coal mines in West Virginia as a foreman for loading train cars. I turned my back this morning and waved a good-bye. She smiled at me with the most beautiful smile and my day was complete knowing that the love of my life was always at the window.

I would come through the door after a long day of work and she again would be in the window smiling and waving at me. I arrived in the driveway, looked at the window, and she was not there. I had a bad feeling that something was not right. I turned off the engine and rushed to the house. I opened the door and lying on the floor was my beautiful wife, lifeless and with a smile on her face. I started to cry, tears flowing down my cheeks, I gave her one more last kiss and said my goodbye. Who will be there to watch me through the window ?

Honey? What Is This Lump Here?

C2-0167__25578_1325295847_1280_1280I cried, she was all I had. We met in high school and had been together for 32 years. Honey? I feel something in my breast can you come here and check this out? I went into the bathroom and felt around her breast in a circular motion and there it was. She had a small lump probably the size of a pea. Do you think it is anything honey? I don’t know but you better go have it checked out.

We arrived at the doctors office a little early because we didn’t want to miss this important visit. We sat in the waiting room for it seemed like hours, it was only minutes, but it seemed like a life hours. Miss, you can come in this way. My husband entered the room with me. The doctor came in and felt around my breast and located the lump we had been feeling. Miss, I’m going to send you for a breast exam. This has to be done today. I’m thinking I have so much to do today and this was not in the plans. The doctor told me that you cannot wait. If this is cancer it could spread very rapidly, time is of the essence. Your appointment will be today at eleven this morning.

We traveled to the local hospital and they put me in those hospital suits, I can never understand why these do not have a backside. I guess one can figure it out. Miss? can you please come in here. I’m going to do a breast exam at this station. Your husband will have to stay in the waiting room. The machine examined my breast for it seemed like more angles than I learned in geometry. The test was performed, she told me I could put my street clothes back on. You can wait in the waiting room and the doctor will call you in awhile to talk of the results.

Miss? You can come in here, we need to discuss the results. What the results showed is that I had breast cancer and that I was going to have to make some decisions soon of what treatment. My husband and I were in disbelief and saddened by the results. We knew that we had a long road ahead of us.

We decided, aggressive as it might seem, to have a total mastectomy. We didn’t want to take any chances of it spreading. The operation was performed and many days were spent in bed. I had to have chemo and radiation therapy for a few months. I went in for another exam to see if anything has spread and if the chemo and radiation was doing its job. What the results showed this time totally floored me. The cancer had spread into my lymph nodes and with further exam it was found to be in my lungs and brain. The doctor told me that this was a fast moving form of cancer and that you better go home and live the last remaining time with your family and friends.

I met my wife in high school, she was the most caring and loving wife anyone could ask for. I’m writing this because my wife passed away last night and I’m sitting in the living room weeping. I understand that people live and people die, but why my beautiful wife.

This story was written in support of breast cancer and screening. I hope that all people realized that early screening can save your life. This story was not true in my family, this is only a story. It can however reflect on many woman in this world that are currently fighting this fight. Husband’s are there to help you through. Please support your local or national breast cancer foundations. Good day- Have your screening today.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Where Have The Children Gone?

Children_playing_with_Campbell_Kid_dollsWhere have all the children gone. I really miss the sounds of children playing and laughing. The time has passed so fast and our children grew up way too fast.  I sit in an empty house and remember saying I cannot wait until the children grow up. Well, from experience now, I can say I would like to take back those words. I miss them, going to all their sporting events, or any school functions seemed like a lot of hassles at the time but I would like time to revert back. My days are either playing on the computer or writing short stories. My stories are a fragment of my life in some weird kind of way. There is no way to replace what has been. History has been made and the children were part of that history. They are now into adulthood and  we hope that our raising them has structured them for a wonderful future. Still I sit here now and the only sound I hear is the dog scratching. I don’t hear, Dad? Dad? Come here or there to help them out. Some say it is the empty nest, does it ever really go away. I’m sure we all miss our children in some way. I’m glad to have my wife around because this would be one lonely life without anyone around.

This is an important message to all. Cherish your children, give them all the hugs and kisses. You might have bad days with your children but always remember they are children. They will be all grown up before you know it and you will sitting in front of a computer writing stories to have record of your life, just like me. Go hug your kids right now, it really means a lot.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Flash Of A Miracle

article-2572269-1BAFBB8C00000578-793_634x506Miracles do happen. I was working in a pizza joint one night and this old man came up to the counter. I will have a pepperoni pizza young man, he replied. That will be $6.95 sir and it will take about fifteen minutes sir. You might want to take a seat and we will call you when it is done. The man went and sat down. I looked over and he was sitting next to the window and kept looking out the window like he was waiting for someone to arrive. The pizza was almost complete and the man stands up and walks to the door. He opens the door and is holding it like someone is there but no one is there. He then closes the door and is talking to himself. The chair on the opposite side of the table moves all by itself then moves back in toward the table. I look out and the old man is talking and directing his conversation across the table.

The pizza is complete and I’m still in amazement for what I had just witnessed. I cannot tell any of my co-workers because they will think I have gone completely bonkers. I approach the table. Sir, here is the pizza you just ordered. He looks straight ahead and says, honey this pizza smells fabulous. Now I’m not going crazy here, I look to the other side of the table and a drinking glass raises up then is placed gently back down on the table. Wholly smokes my knee’s are shaking at this point. I look at the old man and I say to him. Sir, did you just see that? See what young man? Did you just see that glass raise up then back down? I saw nothing what you are talking about young man . He looks to me and replies, Young man do you know miracles do happen if you believe? I didn’t know how to answer that question.

I walked away in awe of what this old man had just stated to me. Was it true that if you imagine something real hard that miracles can happen. I went home from work that night wanting to tell my wife what I saw today but realized that she would think I had become totally insane. Had this old man in his wanting so bad, reincarnated his beloved wife? How could this be I wondered. The lesson from this man made me understand that life is what you make of it. You can dream and pray for something hard enough and in the end miracles can be possible.

I have been dreaming real hard and researching this topic on the internet. I have never found one story of this happening. Was what I witnessed only a fragment of my imagination? Who has the answer? I cannot wait to go to work tomorrow, I have many questions. I hope this man and his wife reappear. There has to be a miracle within my life somewhere. ©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Love Again- Now go Hang Out The Clothes.

untitledShe smiled at me and I smiled back. It was the sweetest thing I had every seen. It has been three years now since I lost my wife in a horrible car accident. She had meant the world to me and had our two children. I never even to the slightest had thought about being with another person again. How could anyone replace this lady I had loved so much. Again, the stranger smiled at me. I gave her a slight wave of my hand letting her know I responded back. Who was this stranger? I moved closer to introduce myself. What the heck was I doing? I’m not like this. What is pulling me toward this woman?

I was at the grocery store and here I am now standing next to this woman. I can smell the perfume on her, she smiled again and reached out her hand. My name is Adrianna, yours would be? I kind of stumbled, Ah, Ah, my name is Henri. She told me that is a funny name. I giggled for a second, it was the only name I was giving and it wasn’t funny to me. I am from French decent. It is a lovely name Henri, she smiled again. She had the whitest teeth and blue eyes to die for. We talked for a few minutes when I decided to give her my number and asked if she would like to meet somewhere. I know Henri, this is a funny place to meet. She asked if I was interested in going to the local coffee shop on the corner of Bridge and Main Street. I would love to meet your there, like 7 pm on Friday night? Ok, she replied, and she gave my hand a squeeze acknowledging this information. I caught myself watching her as she walked back down the isle. Wow there was some sparks going on here and I was about to slap myself.

We met at the coffee shop down on the corner and she was wearing that same perfume. Oh man this is an attractant for me. She smiled again and moved her head forward as to let me kiss her. I leaned forward and gave her a big romantic kiss right there in front of the store owner. She looked at me with surprise when I pulled back. She replied Henri? What is the rush here? I was only leaning down to fix my stocking. Oh the fool I am, making a complete arse out of myself. That is ok Henri, there is plenty more where that came from. My cheeks had to turn bright red when this comment was made. I asked if she like to dance. Well of course, she replied. What person in this world doesn’t like to dance? Ah, Me for one I’m thinking to myself. Lets meet at the Café del Rosa in Remmington.

We met at the dance hall and she was wearing a tight skirt which revealed an amazing body. I couldn’t help noticing that she was also well endowed in the upper region and I kept catching myself staring at her. Oh man, I’m going to get busted for looking. Ok, the perfect gentleman I am, stop it!

The night was awesome and she sure could dance with grace. She had moves on the floor that I couldn’t even think of doing. I would try to keep up but my dancing experience was very weak. We made the last call and last dance of the night. The last song was making me tear up because this was a waltz from when my wife and I got married. I was holding this lady who I just met like it was my wife. It seemed like my wife had been recreated. How could this happen? I told myself there was no one else in this world that I could love more than my wife and I was resigned to the fact I would be a single person the rest of my life. Somehow everything had changed at this moment. Oh the scent of this woman.

We kept meeting for a year, before we knew it life for me had changed drastically. I realized now that love can repeat itself if you give it a chance. Henri? can you please go pick up the kids? Where is my breakfast? I’m getting it honey. How come you throw your darn clothes on the floor everyday? I’m getting sick of your snoring all the time. Ah- Love as you know it!


©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Until The End

article_84fd85e643e1abd1_1343825565_9j-4aaqskOn the edge of life and death. Life is so precious we take every moment and balance every moment of this. We are time machines and are not programmed for eternal life.  Photograph the memories of your loved ones and tell them you love them at all times. We cannot control the future, nor can any other human. Others can mitigate certain problems and with that we survive in the hands of doctors. Hope, pray, cross your fingers if that is what it takes to give a person more time with us.

We have been witness to life after death, we see it all around us. The wind, sun, tree’s, certain songs, a noise. We can hear this person sending signals at times. I know life goes on. I have photographed everything about this person into my brain. They are with us to our eternal end and I know a connection of the two of us will prevail.

Lives will hang onto this bitter balance of this time machine and family’s will bond and make connections with these people to photograph one more memory.

Quest For Time, Really?

man_writing_authorI just cannot seem to get any gump today. Maybe it is the fact that I had worked twelve hour nights and slept for only four hours. It also could be the fact that things are going through my mind faster than a camel in heat. I find that being somewhat of a writer I tend to have stuff brewing all the time. This writing stuff gives me a place to let out some of those feelings or ideas. We who tend to write do it for pleasure and hope that in the end someone else can get satisfaction from our past writings. It took me a long time to accept the idea that I was going to write stuff and leave trail, sort of speaking. When we write stories it is etched into computer world forever and someday hopefully my family will stop for a minute and read some of the stories I have put into this memory chip.

I sit here alone, my dog at my feet and wonder what else would I be doing right at this moment in time if I wasn’t a writer. It’s ok boy? You will be ok, the dog is licking my feet. He gets bored too. I think I became a reader somewhat out of boredom. I was not a racer anymore, nor was I a ballet dancer. The hobbies were far and few between and I needed an outlet. Writing has become this new outlet and I hope that by journaling my mind that people can get a chuckle from time to time or learn something of interest.  I know your hungry dog, you can wait, I’m writing.  This is the only thing that has bothered me about writing is the interruptions. I get into somewhat of a trance when I’m writing and all of a sudden a question is thrown at me. You know your mother is watching Jeopardy every night? Huh? You say something there dear? Or now the dog wants to go outside and do his duties. So writing is really not a priority only a necessity to fulfill my dire needs. Hang on dog, I will be right with you! So interrupted again, now I lost my thought.  No, I don’t want to play with shakey- shake the Frisbee. Good Dog, go lay down. What I find in this writing endeavor is that sometimes people or animals are left out, put out to pasture as to speak. I however only wanted a few minutes of my time to jot something down. I hope people will understand this quest I’m having.

Sometimes you have to go back in time to get yourself out of this gump. It is like resetting yourself. I like to take music for this.  Aztec Two Step. Some Acoustic Therapy-

Enjoy the day, I can hear the birds chirping, Come on Spring, this Thursday. Ya- hoo. Now the snow can melt anytime.  ©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014

Flash Ahead

lightning flashThe lightning hit the telephone pole right in front of my eyes. It was a dark and rainy night and I was driving home from work on county road. I could see small lightning flashes ahead so I knew that I would be driving into a storm. This is not uncommon in the area that I live and to be honest I kind of like watching the flashes. The rain started picking up so I decided to move the wiper control to another notch. I was struggling hard to keep concentration on the road when all of a sudden I saw a big flash and heard a loud crash. I looked up and a telephone pole had been hit by the lightning. The only problem is the pole came crashing down right in front of me. I cranked the steering wheel to the left real hard and the car fishtailed and drove right off over an embankment and crashed into a large tree.

I’m sitting on a beach in the French Riveria and I can see all these first responders running down the beach. I’m thinking boy I hope they find who they are looking for because I’m sure someone is in dire need. Oh, the sun feels so good today and I think a nap is going to happen real soon. One more sip of my cocktail, sip, Ah!

Sir? Wake up. I open my eyes and I see a first responder hollering at me. I move my arm, or try to move my arm, pointing in the direction I saw the other responder running to. Sir? Are you ok? I’m very confused at this point. Why is he talking to me like something happened? Oh, my arm is hurting like someone pushed a dagger through it. Sir? You have been in an accident. Lightning struck a telephone pole and you swerved off the road and hit a tree.

Life can change in a moment. We need to enjoy every day and tell the loved one’s you love them every day. Lightning can flash in front of you and change everything.

©Bilodeau,D.H. 2014