Just Another New Years-Mayhem!

 

I hope everyone had a great year and celebrated like a champ. I was destinated and could not take part in this years festivities. Still to reflect back on a year of what my wife tells me ” Still above the ground”, I would have to agree with her. I recall one New Years celebration where I was handed one of those horns that blow out a snake. Well instead of blowing I sucked on it and the darn tube sucked right through the mouthpiece and got caught in my throat. I started gagging and everyone thought I was joking around. Me? Joke around! I was having a spasm like no other and was trying to heave the paper out of my throat when Melinda Parsons, My six grade teacher recognized the immediate danger I was in. WHACK! She hit me on the back so hard I almost passed gas. That clog of paper came out and fell into Jonathan Wilburs whiskey he had over there on the table. He stood up and was pissed like no other and came running toward me, like it was my fault. I was still gagging and saliva was pouring out of my mouth when Jonathan Wilbur started hollering at me so loud his teeth fell out and hit the floor, shattering into a gazillion pieces. The dance floor was littered with tooth fragments and I started hearing loud thumping sounds. The dancing people from the party were falling down, tripping on the white pebbles of teeth, falling hard to the ground. Someone called 911 because it was becoming a disaster in the place. Someone had to triage all the fallen victims. I had a little first aid in Mrs Grace’s 8th grade class so I started going to people who really looked bad. One couple did a split and I could tell that their hips were pointing in different directions, just not normal to look at. I got down on my knee and this is when a piece of tooth penertrated my patella. My kneecap was laserated right there and blood started flowing freely. Richard Millagan started wiping up the mess with his hanky. I could hear sirens in the distance so I was feeling a little better about some more qualified people coming in for the patch job. The cops, all one of them who was on duty couldn’t calm everything that was going on that night. He called for backup. Mutual aid from another town came with a response, one other officer. People were now getting up from the floor, drunkin individuals, you know who you are! begun yelling at the cops. I just tried to stay on the ground making myself a patient, faking how bad I really was even though i had some blood running on the floor. Well before long it was New Years and everyone there wanted their money back because the fun was taking right out of them, I cant say I blame them. One thing for sure is today marks the start of another year, Yahoo! We made it, (STILL ABOVE THE GROUND) Happy New Years. First story of the New Years, D.H.Bilodeau 2016

 

 

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