I was out on the front lawn this morning collecting pine cones. I couldn’t believe how many dropped from the pine tree today. I wanted to make sure that I got them before the squirrels took their share. I really didn’t want to take all of them. I wanted to give the squirrels some to stock up for winter. I wanted a collection of cones so that I could do some crafty work with them. I take them and put wheels on them and dip them in paint to give them color but also to cover all the pitch spots. Around this area kids are buying these up at an alarming rate. I really do worry about the fate of the Northern Grey Squirrel. It was very windy and I could see a few cones falling from the tree. You have to be careful because if one of those hit you in the face it could do real damage, take your eye out if you don’t watch it . I was bent over and putting the dropped pine cones into my Scooby-doo bag when I heard a crack and then it happened. The limb fell down so fast I didn’t have time to escape it. The limb hit my shoulder first ,then knocked me to the ground, pinning me hard against the ground. I wasn’t knocked completely unconscious but I wasn’t thinking very clearly either. We live in a very remote area with the nearest house being five miles away. The traffic is very limited in this region, only Reggie and Martha up the road and John and Ruth up the side road. The chances of either of those family’s driving by where very slim.
I knew that I was injured badly but with the pressure from the tree I wasn’t losing any blood yet. I was thinking clearer now and decided I had to McGiver something to get me out of this mess. I knew that if I removed the tree that I had to worry about compartment syndrome. This is when something is closing off the blood then the pressure is released fast. Your blood pressure can drop in a hurry and put you into shock. You can die if fluid isn’t introduced into the blood stream at the same time. The other thing you can do for a last chance is to release the pressure very slowly. I was going to take the limb I broke off and try to raise the tree off from me, ever so slowly. I was successful in removing the limb but now had to crawl back to the house.
I was about halfway to the house when I look up and there at least fifty grey squirrels all around me. They are carrying what looks like rope strands. One larger squirrel is standing on his hind legs and raises what looks like a crossbow. He pulls the trigger and a dart lands on my body. Another,then another, keeps hitting me, all the squirrels are armed and shooting at me. I’m thinking haven’t I seen movie like this, Gulliver Travel, or something like that. It was really happening and I was being tied to the ground. Was I going to be a meal for them? I didn’t know, but I was their prisoner and there was nothing I could do. One larger squirrel jumped up on my chest and walked up to my face. He looked to be the leader of this pack, maybe an officer in charge. Sir, the squirrel speaking up states, You are now in the position of our control. You will not be harmed, we need some important information that we need to impregnate into your mind. What? I’m thinking? Ok, I don’t understand, I was just picking up pine cones to be used for craft projects. Listen up! This is the problem we are having with you humans. Stealing our food, we have babies and family, we are not surviving winters anymore because you humans are using the cones for crafts. How would you control this situation? Sir, we have no other way but to impregnate you so that stealing our food is no longer going to happen. We will inject your brain with seminal acid which will wipe out your thoughts of stealing cones.
I opened my eyes, there I was laying on the ground. The sun was shining in my face, my Scooby-doo bag was beside me, empty. I didn’t know why I was lying on the ground. I stood up, shook my head then went back inside the house. It was going to be a long day. So now why was outside again?